things will be fine.

Promise.

 

And so in the past few days/weeks, i've been trying to get my shit together and I realised that even though I no longer remind myself of what I shouldn't, the weight on my shoulders still remain. I decided to slowly, collect what no longer needs to be around and throw it out. Took out photos from albums, books, cards, papers, notes, all that reminds me of what I no longer even remember unless reminded, and put it all in one place. To keep or not to keep was the question. Should I?

Maybe not.

 

"What are you going to do with these?"

Burn it.

"What? Don't! They're memories"

Memories I no longer give a shit about.

Then again, I do give a shit about it. I used to be the memory hoarder. Anything that would remind me of any event I found important in my life or even if it isn't, I would keep it. I would look back at it; reminisce. I've always been the one to appreciate all the things people fail to notice but that was back then. I've lost my memory of most things after an incident I went through. Now what I keep in mind are the things I have traces of. Sometimes it pops up randomly in my mind just by going to a certain place or smelling a certain scent. Come to think of it, in a few more years would i regret this? maybe.....not. What you can forget won't bother you. Besides, I no longer go through my stuff like I usually do any more. I leave it somewhere in a box or drawer long enough to be forgotten or at least, until I no longer have any sentimental value towards it or feel a certain longing or sadness for the memories I want out.

So a few more things to go before I can finally start over.

Praying for things to be the same in a way that differ from how it used to be.

-riri-