Second hit, a bit lighter now. Head is heavy still, feeling as if it were being stretched upwards- sometimes the inability to feel is so much of a bliss. Partially insane, this need to retreat sounds like the escape of a lifetime. I'm just unsure if I have that much time. Violent tendencies, entities of my mind going in and out, dropping silent hints of negative although somewhat tempting ideas. Tying down the urges, I still feel like running towards the light.
The end of the tunnel is always so bright, I'm brought back to days I last felt alive with what I no longer have. It's always hard to let go of what you are afraid you will wish to never encounter. I must have been mistaken to think it was anyone but myself I should fear the most. I know to me a bond that is cut to soon be destroyed is a broken mirror fixed by glue. Manageable, understandable, imperfect as us, however the reflection is what it is.
How courageous are you to have let it go yet again,
how brave can I possibly be to do it the way that suits me?
My head continues to argue.