self collect.

02:10am // 27 June 2019.

You said that I taught you how to love and to be loved.

Suddenly the image of you and how it must seem within you, with how you told me of what you said about how I was able to do so, crossed my mind. You look so grown in that expect, me excluded as a contributing factor of course- I see you.

Only not physically. So popped in my mind of the fact that you moved into something else with someone new and how I get to think, over all of these thoughts and intruding emotions- the visions; I hope she gets to feel how you felt and what you learned.

The good you have left in you from all that you've collected throughout this journey, I imagine you joyous and in complete placidity and ataraxy. A much more fulfilling bond than the one with me, you make her happy! I figured. You have it all set up. That she makes you grin as much as you might with her. I'm not eager to know so I leave it be but I still hope so if it's meant to be.

Even if it all falls apart, I'm not to be the one who asks for such. I'm not one to break a girl's heart and you deserve what fills you deep down, unlike the girl who couldn't make you feel in return the sunray of your presence, you brought into her life, for when it still existed like the excitement in your eyes that soon faded(me)- It's not me, most definitely.

Still I pray, for whatever good that will have you content. Dunia dan akhirat.

-riri-