I woke up at exactly 3 in the morning feeling sick to the core. I looked at the window beside my bed, it's pitch black but not as dark as my life was to me at the moment; not even as dark as it was when I closed my eyes. It's 5 already and I'm still wide awake. School awaits in a couple more hours and I still couldn't make sense of what I was doing or how it was happening.
I popped one out and flush it down my throat. Nothing happened.
I took another two then five in the end it was 14 more. I was spinning, the walls were closing in on me, I tried walking to the toilet but I kept bumping and hitting into things. My feet was all wobbly, my vision all blurry. I tried putting myself to bed but the pain was just excruciating. I thought hey, this is it, finally, just relax and go. but there I was, out of my mind, I couldn't sleep nor could think or anything but roll around unable to feel both my legs. As if I was in a trance; I see colours, shapes and shadows like I was in another dimension but half of me was still there on my bed. It took awhile for it to sink in and finally everything turned to nothing. Blank like paper. Living a dream, waking up the next day with my body all covered up, weak and still in space trying to get back down to earth, facing reality that I have to go through another day.
yours truly, riri.
