look at me now.

Saturday, 3 November 2012

steadier, happier.

I don't have everything I've ever wanted but what I have now, is more than enough.

I no longer am with those I was once with. I never stick with one crowd 'cause honestly I don't even have one. You know those days where you get all distress thinking of what you want in life and getting headaches thinking of who are worth staying or sticking with? Well I've find peace. Eyes wide open, I don't need to chase what I'd never catch. I don't need to build what would burn down in the end. I don't need to be afraid anymore. I've found my safe place.

You know those times when you realized that there's always gonna be shit in life but one thing for sure is that you don't have to go through it alone? I have friends, I do. Friends with me at my best, doubt would be when I'm at my worst. No one is to blame. I don't care anymore. Friendship, I now find a funny thing. I believe in it, just not yet.

Family of course they're always there for you. You leave in the freaking same house under the freaking same roof. Still, when you were in depression, they didn't know did they? They didn't even try to understand and you, you stop hoping that they would and you act all normal like nothing could ever hurt you and well, I got tired of feeling too much that it made me feel even less when I've gotten use to it.

You know, sometimes you just gotta stop worrying too much and look on the bright side. I've seen mine. It's her, and him, they are what keeps me going. They're my happiness and I don't need more. In this depressing and overwhelming state, I find happiness. It's like that feeling you get when you're walking through all your fears and frustrations and the danger but you couldn't care less because this time the choice is in your hands and for now, this is mine. I'm holding on to this. At least till I can't no more.

A little family of three: me, her, him.

yours truly, riri.