my guy.

his eyes were kind, full of spark, exciting.
my guy his eyes, they were joyful, childish, pure.
his smile wide, astonished, nervous, psyched.
my guy his smile was as if I was the first girl he'd saw that day,
as if he saw love in the form of a human body.
he talked to me like he wouldn't gotten the chance to ever again,
we clicked, the kind of click I knew I could have fun with.
my guy, he's quiet, he's soft, he makes me find questions to ask,
something to talk about, like most of those before.

I never go with those that clicks with me the first time,
because there's hardly ever a next time.

his eyes, freaked out, maybe amazed, by the glances he gave that I kept hold.
his eyelashes curled up naturally like the edge of his lips while we converse.
my guy, sometimes rush his eyes away, other times, lock his on mine.
widen like saucers, pitch black, full of lashes, he'd stare into mine, far enough
to see the future I had planned in my head with him.
he seems eager to say more, know more, quiet when someone else is around.
my guy, most of the time patient, chilled, silent, inattentive to me.
he asks questions after questions, creating topics, laughing with me.
my guy sometimes don't know when to.

but this guy isn't my guy, my guy isn't him.
my guy is mine to understand and adore, my guy
is everything.

-riri-

"life sucks" cliché.

We claim the world is unfair and that "life sucks". Most times, we say all the time. It's like saying all guys are the same. It's a bit too general but aimed exactly at a specific thing, consisting of hundred other beings or objects (?). Is it the universe's fault or god's? Exactly, you know better.

We're often clouded by irrational emotions. Not taking any time to think about it, we assume (thinking at that moment we know and is so sure of) things that aren't as it is. It isn't the world, it's the people in it. It's not everyone, just the one you choose to let in. It isn't life, it's the decisions you make. Doesn't mean you aren't able to go through any of this without keeping yourself shut.

We learn, sometimes we forget that almost all that happens, is a blessing or a lesson. It's how you choose to perceive it. I'm not saying it's easy, I promise you it's true how certain things, make no sense at all, it gets you stuck. Then comes those moments in life where it gets unbearable,you think you won't get through it alive; well sometimes you don't, but if you notice the oxygen you're getting the chance to still inhale, you've gotten this far.

Unjust still, maybe. Or it could just be us. Far from perfect, I sometimes forget to be grateful and count my blessings each day I am given a chance to live with my loved ones and for them to still be there. Think about it, when was the last time we thanked The Almighty.

-riri-

growing up you hurt.

Not getting hurt, but instead acting out the action onto others. You leave people, you tell them the truth, you point out mistakes or flaws with the sincere intention of wanting better for them. It might hurt them or the next person, maybe even yourself, but sometimes you have to. We grow from this. From learning and accepting how it's okay to do so sometimes, to hurt and get hurt. The right thing is hardest to be done at times. You're not alone.

-riri-

delusion.

Some days I know you love me the same way, often I feel it. Some moments it feels the opposite. Like I've been making myself believe so and I no longer know.

-riri-