look at me now.

Thursday, 13 February 2014

episode 1.

Starting New.

This reminds me of myself, a few years back. To think you're in the right place until the day you meet new people. "They're not real friends, they're going to ditch you once they receive what they want", your old friends would tell you. Your old friends, they're good people. Straight A students. Does their homework, goes to school, never talks back to their parents, goody two shoes. But they're wrong. I mean we don't really know anyone until we know them and we don't really know how anyone really is inside as in what they think of you, until the day you're no longer hanging around with them.

You're gonna find it a bit awkward at first, in a new crowd of people. They don't do things the way your old friends would. You're stuck in between. Wanting to fit in, thinking you don't. If you were lucky enough, the way I was, you will soon feel more at home with them than you ever did with those before them. They accept you for who you are, we're all different individuals. They don't expect you to act or stay a certain way. It wasn't like they dragged hell with them with every step they took. They opened my mind to a lot of things, mostly good but some couldn't take that.

Your old friends, they've been talking shit about you since the day you decided to walk out on them. They've been looking down on you like you were freely deciding to throw your life away. When all you did was have fun a different way.



There were a few things lately, that kept reminding me of what used to be.
Us all as one; thinking last year was enough of a separation, 
when really this year will be the biggest.

Reminiscing the good old days and I'm like "Whaaat, man seriously, what happened?" I laugh at the thought of it. We knew what happened. We knew it was bound to happen. It just gets me thinking of reasons why it couldn't have stayed the way it did. We didn't belong, I would think. Maybe one day we would again, who knows. It was nice while it lasted and I gave my all. What is there to regret? Exactly.

I loved the purity of it. We weren't just together, we weren't just sharing inside jokes or stick throughout the good times and gone by the lowest of moments. We had other responsibilities outside, other people to get on with the minute we stepped out of our class but it wasn't the same as when we were together. Like lost siblings reuniting. It was as if we've met in another world, now once again relearning what we've already known all about.

What was said to any of us, stays between us. It was okay to trust. We didn't judge each other, even for the worst of sins. We weren't the kind of groups of friends you'd see these days. We told each other anything to everything. That's what made it all meant so much; the ability to let each other in and be apart of one another's life. I don't see that in a lot of things or relationships these days. We actually talked about important things, feelings, though it could sound a bit mushy or "touchy-feelings", it was human.

We all think it's so important to be all tough, we sometimes forget that we're human. Humans with feelings and weaknesses. That it's okay to be down in the dumps once in awhile. That it's okay to hurt.