another love.

It breaks me, to see him broken.

He lays next to me, as he speak words deep from his heart.
Things he had said way too many times lately. Things he mean.
Things he can ever brush off. Things that hurt him so.
Things he wish could change everything, to how it was.

I wish she knew how much she meant to him and how deeply, insanely in love he is with her. All the shit she puts him through intentionally or not & all that he had put himself through just for her sake, I wish she knew. I wish she would see and understand that this isn't a joke or another phase to him. I wish so badly she knew, that this is meant to be worked together on. Not to be left hanging, with a closure too hurtful to rewind in mind before bed. If only she knew. But then again, I completely understand why. I understand why she is the way she is and I understand how he feels for her. I understand everything because just like everything else, it seems like things and events are all connected with everything and reflects everyone in different ways. Just like this, it reminds me of me, who I was, and the guy I'm now with.

But some things are too simple that it's complicated to understand. 

Some things you can't really put a finger on.

I hear the hurt in his voice. I see the tears in his eyes and the smile he tries to hold. I see how such a mess he has become and how his mind runs at night. I see the love he has for her when he speaks about how he wish he could turn back time, how he wish he knew where he went wrong. I wish I could help I so badly do but this isn't about me and I've got nothing I could possibly do but to listen and be there for what I can. He talks about her with feelings and expression and ways I have never seen before. Ways that prove nothing less than that he once and now still do wish to believe that she is the one.

"This is the girl you know? She's the one. I swore I thought she's going to be the one. She is just, so beautiful. No, really beautiful like inside and out. She's beautiful to me. Everything about her. I don't know what to do. She gives meaning to my life. I am now honestly, completely, empty"

She doesn't want to hurt him. Little did she know that this is killing him. "How do you know when a guy really loves you?", because I don't know how. I'm never sure if they really do because they all say they do but it never stays; the feeling I mean. "You know when he does things you know he wouldn't do for anyone else." He was right. However, I don't know a guy well enough to ever know if a thing he does for me, he wouldn't do for anyone else. This guy here though, I know him well enough and it's true. He does everything he could possibly do despite the trouble he gets himself into because of it, all specially for her. He would do anything for her. Love isn't even enough to show her or tell her how much she means to him.

If only she knew.

-riri-