affected by the past.

Isn't it just shit to know that someone loves you so much as if you were his world; his everything and it is so obviously true; you see it yourself but you refuse to believe it? Why? Because so many have said and promised the same thing and you've been through the same shit, the same feeling, the same ache, everything. It is shit to know that because of all your past ones, you start to push away the ones to come. It is shit that because of them, you end to be the one to break promises, to hurt and to betray. All because you are afraid. Knowing that you were once the best but still it wasn't enough and to know that you once would try to be all that you can for the ones you love but get thrown away aside for others to come in and now because of the exact reasons you have become so cold and careless towards the ones who truly, sincerely, do love you, now. That is shit.

It is shit how the past changes you to who you are today,

good or bad.

It is shit how you become what you promised you'd never be,

because of it.

It is shit how people can change you to who you're not,

by hurting you this way.

And it is insanely shit how you could and had,

let it happened.

-riri-