my kind of love.

Some have their own type for guys/girls.
I don't. I just have the kind of love I'm attracted to.

Usually, opposite attracts. Sometimes you fall for the ones you swore you'd never be seen dead with. Sometimes you fall for the one who is exactly the kind of person you have dreamt of being with. Sometimes it lasts, sometimes not. And sometimes, it all comes unexpected.

I fall for the person who randomly comes to me to talk. That person I would never put my guard down for at first. I fall for that person who is so eager to get to know me yet still talks about himself. The one that trusts me enough to share things like dreams, hopes and stories, anything. Like my parents', the one that doesn't mind distance no matter for how long; sometimes complicated but finds a way to compromise and tries to understand. I fall for the kind my grandparents used to have where my grandma might get cold but he doesn't stop being who he is and shows his feelings for her. The kind where you don't give up on each other because sometimes, things are going to get hard even if you don't want them to. I fall for the one who respects me as a person, the one who is sincere enough to be okay when asked to meet my parents.

I fall for the love of friendship. To be with someone who is comfortable with me, the one I automatically become comfortable with. I fall for the kind of love I have for Damia where we have days where things can't quite flow out from our mouth right but we know what's going on when things aren't okay. People after people yet we still end back together. I fall for what I have with Yaya where we would tease each other sometimes with things more offensive than we would even think of saying but never really take it to heart because we know we're kidding. The kind that waits for you even if you push them away because they know you better and they know how much you love them deep inside and that you just have trouble or is scared to show it.

My favourite kind of love would be with Farah. If she was a he, she'd probably be with me by now. That kind that talks either all day at random times or not at all but we're there in each other's heart and mind. Despite what anyone else would say we know us better. The kind that knows and understands how messed up or broken or a mess each other can be but is okay with that because we're just the same in ways that differ. My love is that where we could totally be ourselves knowing they won't judge or run. The kind that accepts. I want to love the way I do with Farah. Where we trust and believe in each other the way no one does. The love where there is no secrets. Everything, we would tell because this is the kind that we work for to last. No regrets. No other. The kind that can meet everyday from talking to just being silent next to one another and not feel awkward. The kind that you get so comfortable with or attached to that becomes so strong you sometimes don't even need words to say. That you get sure of would last.

But above all, I fall for the flaws and acceptance of it. The mistakes and how forgiveness is asked and given. The sincerity and the compromise, the way we would work on it because it means a lot to both. That's the kind I fall for. The one that gives me attention when I lie that I am not in need of any. The one that sees the shit in me and realise they're just as imperfect but together we're perfection. The one that doesn't leave when I get emotional and doesn't mind to get emotional with me.

-riri-