nothing.

Someone else’s child. Trouble. Problematic. Ungrateful. Burden. Lazy. Attitude problem. Rubbish. Asshole. A nuisance. Full of shit. Stupid. Cocky. Rude. Better off dead. Hell is for you. Screwed.

It goes on and on. Trying your best to be the best but maybe it’s not enough. You’re not working your ass off to live up to their expectation of the “perfect child”. Oh god, what are they gonna do with you? Foolish child, they deserve better. You’re pathetic, you can’t even make your parents happy and after all that they’ve done for you, this is what you repay them with? Have you no shame! Little spoiled brat, you don’t have the chance to go far, not without their blessing. What are you doing now? Don’t cry, you don’t have the right to. You brought this upon yourself. Does it please you? Making your parents cry does it please you?! "You nothing but a screw up so loud inside my head.

Living to that thought. I know I make mistakes and I swear I try not to repeat them. I learn from them, I do. I’m not a good person but I know I’m not that bad. Everyday I convinced myself that I am good. Maybe not the best but not the worst either. When I’m being pulled, pushed or kicked down, I lay and cry and just think of how it got that way but I pick myself up every time, I try to try once again. It’s disheartening how I feel like I'm being persuade to believing that I can’t make it.

When everyone turns their back on you, who do you turn to? I believe in myself ‘cause that’s when the thought of how I’m the only one I got hits me and I hold on to that, always.

yours truly, riri.