away.

We talked till 4 in the morning, woke up at 5 and he were to leave to the airport. 5:50a.m off he goes, and for a minute there, there was a moment of despair and it felt as if I was losing a part of me.

I don’t know if this is another phase but my gut is saying this won’t change. To leave or to be left, which would you prefer? I would want no part of it but that’s life. You lose some, gain some. As anti-social as I am, this is going up another whole different level. I’m sticking to what I have now. Open up to none.

Friendship is a never ending commitment and I’ve lost my interest in so. What I see is what I get and I don’t have any plans to change it. Walk in if you want, just know I don’t have time to please people. Walk out if you’re bored, just warned me before you go ‘cause I remember all those who left. Getting attached to anyone, new especially, is the last thing I would want. I’m not in for getting my heart break or worst, breaking other people’s heart. Corrupted and pretend is all I see and I don’t dare to test it.

Maybe it’s because so many had walk in and out of my life and I can’t recall which was real. I can’t tell even if the ones who still hang around wants to be around. Even the ones I trust or should be able to trust are causing nothing but pain so who am I going to go to and what am I supposed to do? It’s like everything thing we know is a lie. Not being able to change that fact gives you one last choice – to run. I’m creating my own world now. I don’t need all this. Once again, I’m a disappointment that walks away.

yours truly, riri.