first wish.

It was odd how this is my first birthday away from home and how I didn’t have or even bother to have my phone with me was more unusual of me. The first thing I did was open one of my social network account and I got a message. That was the first wish I got to read since my phone wasn’t with me. It was from a guy, my first love.

This makes me wanna laugh even for just typing about it. The word “first love”, it sounds so cheesy and humorous but I’m not kidding. It was funny and I seriously mean it in a way that I don’t even understand how, while I was reading it, there was this overwhelming vibe around me and I was stuck in the moment. By doing the simplest things and saying so little so much he made me....happy?

Sometimes positivity in your thinking is just absurd. Meaning sometimes it’s just another way to have hope and cling to it just because it’s what you want it to happen. Another simple understanding would be : your self-created false hope.

And sadly, without me knowing, maybe secretly there is a part of me that’s doing that to myself. Maybe there is a part of me that hopes for what I know myself would never be and depending too much on all the so-called signs I get. This really is just another random post I ended up typing while the thought of it crosses my mind.

However, who knows, maybe this really would lead to something? Maybe a repeat of history with improvement. Maybe not.

yours truly, riri.