should've been another.

I never planned on becoming rotten. Never wanted to be yours.

I don't take port in what people say or think about me but when it comes to her; to the people I love and care for, everything starts to matter. It all started when I was 10. Growing up finally brave enough to speak up my mind; to fend for myself. Unfortunately in the world I live in, silence is all they'd listen to and what they say is what I have to bear with and obey to.

One thing I know for sure about myself; as sure as knowing that the sun rises from east and sets to west - I've never been the good kid. Well looks are deceiving. I'm that manipulative little spoiled brat. That troublemaker; that nuisance; never the grateful child, never the obedient student, never that good influence for a friend.

Raised by strict parents and guess where it got them - here's the verdict : a child like me. I used to be the good kid. They took me for granted. I told the truth but got none back and as I grew up I start rebelling. Who can I blame if not myself? They made me but, it was my choice. I'm no big problem, really. Even so, you know what they say - It's the small things that get to you. I am the worst part of good and one of the best part of a wreck.

If it's true what they say of how the things people spill out at their moment of rage are the things they've been keeping inside, then my parents deserve a better child. No matter how hard I try I end up the same way. I don't wish to be dead, I wish to never be born. To never exist better yet. Never asked for them to make me, never wanted to be a burden. Without them there is no me, I get it, a lot. Without me one burden would be lifted away from their shoulders. see?

It's not being ungrateful, its serious shit. Day by day I drag them more to hell, feeling guilty about it but still going on with it. Is this the child you want? Is this what you had hoped for? It's clear now.

TELL ME NOW, WHOSE FAULT IS IT, AGAIN?

yours truly, riri.