look at me now.

Monday 31 December 2012

4real.

This time for real. Serious talk. No shit.

It gets lonely don't you think? "Friends" funny shit. They're everywhere. Fake friends, so-called friends, true friends maybe. But I don't live life for commitment on what I don't know if is even real. I take the risk of trying but not trusting. See I've screwed it up. I don't keep in touch with people I know. Just because I'm their friend doesn't mean they are mine or well vice versa. 

 Come in whenever you want, leave when you feel like it. That's how they roll. They don't give a shit. They don't know you. They don't want to. They're just phases to me. I put no hopes on them. What they say or think of me doesn't matter, it shouldn't matter. I mean really what do they know? yeah, exactly. Probably nothing. Don't let people tell you how to live your life.

 I don't mind really. It's no one's fault but my own. I chose being this way. I find happiness in all this devastation. I find peace in solitude. I see the beauty in the beast. Maybe one day,just maybe it'll change. Maybe this will change. Maybe I will change.

Now I'm just holding on to what I have. I'm just appreciating (or at least trying to), the ones who have stayed, who never left. I'm trying to get my head straight once again. Clearing my path,going back on track.

Have you ever sit and wonder why the hell do you even give a shit? I'm flying you see. I'm way out of my mind but my feet is still touching the ground. Wasting my time,wasting my life on nothing at all. What's up with that? And you know what, screw what anyone else thinks. I'll laugh when I feel like it. I'll jump, I'll shout just 'cause I feel like it. I'll dress how ever I want to. I'll say what I feel, I'm going to do me. Eyes on me, mouth open, judge what you see, you don't know me. Bullshit I don't buy, no I'm not gonna cry.

yours truly, riri.

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