that nostalgic shit.

You know, the one where you feel like you go back in time 

or at least, your conscience do.

It was at that time, when things went downhill and I went back to this one Starbucks I used to wait at with Farah or Sya, talking to Far basically for hours waiting for my mum and it was utterly different this time. It was hollow, cold, empty and rather dull; it wasn't the place itself, but my state of mind. It had me feeling dejected. It brought me back to days in Manjung and how I resented going back. I didn't want it to be that way, it needed to change. It needed to go back to the way it was because for once after so long, I needed and wanted things exactly the way they were. Astonishingly I wanted to go back in time and stay there, I didn't want to move on or forward. I was so desperately in need of what I lost on the way here. The kind of nostalgic feel I didn't need, made me realised things were to be fix and that I needed to get him back.

I wasn't going to go back to 2013, through Starbucks with its atmosphere and what I felt inside then minus how I no longer own the people I once did now, I didn't want to do that. Not without him.

-riri-