"family zone".

It's how 98% of people take advantage of their family, be it parents, a good sister/brother, grandparents, wife/husband or all of the above. Either people realise it but forgets all about it the next second, or they never do. Thinking or having it set in mind that they would always be around. They won't. But because of that mindset, they somehow, most often becomes less significant to you whether you would want to admit it or you don't. Most likely because you're either chasing or keeping someone else's attention and the need for them to stay. Unlike family, who usually have been there since forever. The kind of attachment you can't really cut off even if you have tried to.

I used to be taken aback whenever I get left behind, forgotten about or ignored when it comes to family. Especially when I know to these very few people, I would put them above everything and not only because I have to, but because I want to and I feel like it's what I would want to be done onto me if I were to be in their place. No matter how bad it gets, no matter how important to me a plan is, if it were to them, I'd give it all away. But so rarely have I ever been as important to people as I try so hard to make them that fundamental to me in my life.

Mistakes I know I've made and learned from, same goes to the times I've unintentionally went against my principles but the moment I notice it I would get back on track. I know how it's like to feel a certain way or be treated the same way so god forbids anyone else to go through the same. Too bad not all lessons are learned or comprehended the same way and not everyone goes through the same or would understand.

Sometimes it saddens me, it disheartens me and all I want to do is give up and throw them aside. Treat them exactly the way they treat me, give them a taste of their own medicine. But I'd rather be treated the way I would never treat others than have it the other way around. I would never have the heart to anyway, not to family, or even the people that are family to me. We can never really change anyone without their own consent. Why would we change ourselves to go just as low to their level?

Though I can't deny, there are days much often lately, where I wish it was them instead of me so maybe they'd know, and for once, realise the things they've took for granted.

-riri-