odd one out.

Out of all of us that went through,
I was the only one who didn't get through.

I somehow feel, or felt at one point that everyone knew or expected me to be where I am now. Then again maybe that's just me believing how people perceive me the way I imagine they do when in fact maybe that was never the case. I think through every time at times it makes me feel as if I'm delusional or yet subconsciously how everything I think yet not bother about when it comes to people's thoughts of me are really just thoughts of myself from my perspective I've kept hidden under all the confidence, oblivion and ignorance I choose to stand by for.

I'm here with sudden things knocking on the door of my mind dragging me out to look beyond myself, to drop by everyone else's life and how much everything has changed. Difference is, it was never about everything or anything but me. It isn't about how fine people are without me around or how successful they have become after cutting me off and how right my subconscious and their parents' words were. It's how I'm stuck in this very path trying to casually and normally according to schedule move on to the next but I'm unable to or I don't or I can't and the thought of realising which one I am just blacks me out. Then I wake up, and realised I'm the only one left.

They're all gone and fine and I'm here trying to try.

-riri-