the beginning.

Too drunk to bother and worry that she's drunk texting and calling people with a hole in her heart; she fights the urge to cry. Wanting to talk to him, she rings the last guy she met instead. Somewhere deep down she was hoping that he would magically appear, well aware that it doesn't work that way. However you start believing in miracles once you reach desperation.

Broken the day they met, she fell for his kindness as naively as she could. Have you ever looked at someone in the eyes and feel the cries you silently let out at night- they look so loud, you forget you were ever hurt? Not that you never were but you have always been a sucker for whatever that needs you. Never a fan of time, she knows this too shall pass. He could come and go so be wise, she thought. But he felt like the knight in shining armour even if nothing was right or as beautiful as everyone said it would be. For a moment it was enough to her. For those few hours he was everything she needed to get through. Lets pretend this is as magical as it is in her head. Sinking into bed, she has someone by her side now. The only thing she knows of him is his name and how she felt when she let him in.

From the moment she laid her eyes on him to their hands clasping tightly as she laughs about her sadness like it's a sick joke she hasn't gotten tired of hearing, holding his hand as if it would be the one to guide her, she sits close with the tinniest gap in between- she doesn't want him to leave but knows he isn't to stay. Never too comfortable with anyone, a bit too alone and personal. That said, with him nothing felt strange enough. As if we have always been- in disbelief, she ignores the thought of it. Tomorrow this never exists. She stares into his eyes like it was a book she's in too deep reading. A little voice whispers a bit more each time that she loves him, asking if he hears it in the silence the way that she feels- she doesn't want this.

But she'll take it.

-riri-