nice.

5/12/16:1144am.

With him, I do not overthink things. I say, I do, I act, I react, without anxiety getting in the way. As if all the thoughts in my head can't hold me back. Though at times, they do anyway. I can't put a finger on the whys or hows- even if I do end feeling embarrassed afterwards, he makes me want to anyway. Perhaps subconsciously I just want him to know me. Even if at a point he may not want to. I want him to. Before I realise how stupid it is to, and go. At the same time there is a part of me that hopes that he likes me for me. That all I am or at least bits of me, intrigues him and he thinks "this girl is different!". Though I do not expect it to be in a way that every other girls can't compare with me. More of that, he just simply likes me. Even so, I am unsure of what it is; this thing. I suppose that it must be really nice, if he did liked me. The thought of it itself is nothing but nice. And I like nice. It might not seem like much but nice is enough. In spite of that I know he doesn't in that way. I don't really mind. All this while I could just be lonely and everything never meant as much as I said it was.

Yet if that is the case, I have the option of talking to anybody else but him.

Nevertheless, I'm only ever eager to talk to him out of all the other guys I know or knew.

-riri-