love lost in time.

I finally took time to look over an old broken laptop the whole family once shared. I miss this one. I can't tell if it's over all I've done with it or the memories I had using it. It's one of those bulky smaller laptops without a built in webcam. Suddenly I remembered me with it; few years back, younger- more love, much enthusiasm, shining with hope.

Oh the things I do for love. I remember buying a bloody hell webcam just so I could be able to skype with this ex of mine. With almost all the ex(s) I had, there is always something. A webcam, my sleep, tons of credits, calls after calls, even buying for them. Going out of my way for whatever that would've kept them happy because I wanted to, sneaking out, going out, saving up money to meet up. Even to the extent of changing my number for their convenience.

Looking back I always had loved people with all I've got, later on whatever that I had left from the previous guy. It's ridiculous isn't it, the hardship you put yourself through and stupid shit you would do for love. It's nice to know that at one point you did good even if it ended bad. Just a shame that in some you either got lied to, cheated on or used. It's not the money, nor is it the time wasted, not even my energy but to think that some of them never considered how what they did would affect me in some ways make it seem as if I shouldn't have had at all.

I don't need this.

-riri-