grounded.

Is there a word, for the things you have no words for?

I heard a knock, I recognise that tone. One look at her face, I already know what's going on. Just not what happened. I wake up everyday for her, I follow her around or them around to stop certain things from occurring, or at least, to avoid it from becoming more godawful. Any moment I turn my back away, things collapses. Or so I think, to me. It's none of what should matter to me, at least not in this way as it isn't my responsibility. However I've always been like this, I've always been the one to carry all these feelings and worries. I wish it mattered but nobody ever notices and it doesn't quite bother me anymore as it once did. From one perspective, it would never get any better. It is the way it is, it happens. If I get out of this, I save myself. I might just have a chance of living life the way I should at my age. It's too late for that now. This is a maze you can't get out from, you always get pulled back into it once you've reached the end of it.

-riri-