the same but better although worse.

This is no type of alcohol, it's mineral water.
There's no cigarettes, I'm chewing gum.
No panadols miss, there's cereal in my mouth.

You binge you starve

You exercise while sleep deprived

Fat fat skin fat fat

But they feel bones

They see the smile you're losing 

Those dark circles escalating

Your soul exposed

The emptiness swallowing you whole

It's swallowing you whole

Swallowing you whole I said

Run I said

Save yourself

Stay afloat

Swim away

Go

Leave

No,

Stay.

I begged please,

Just stay.

And you, on the outside looking in

And you on the inside desperately grasping whatever there is that's left,

that is there to cling on, to remember, hold on to ; 

a motive, a purpose, a significance.

But nothing's left. Nothing's there. Not even you.

Tell me, how do you cope with that?

-riri-