and lost so much. The way it always is.
People, things, it all comes and goes.
But not this year. This year it's just me.
I've lost you and got you back in my arms, in just a year or less. I had everything one moment, and nothing the next. At 3 in the morning, this wasn't planned. You crossed my mind and so did the realisation of how this year is coming to an end. But god I'm glad it would end once again, with you as mine, and us as one. I hope there wouldn't be a day where falling apart becomes a must, as if it was destine to, I don't plan to let it or could I ever imagine the agony of the day it does if it ever. Stay with me. Keep us close. Even in the saddest of times, you've made me the happiest. Although it seemed impossible to believe it with how I always am or how hard is it to handle me at certain times, always pushing you to the edge, I never once felt like life could get any better without you.
You are the best thing that has ever happened in my life for as far as I'm aware, and one of the most beautiful human being I've ever got involved with despite whatever that had happened, you've never been less than great. You've always been flawless to me. Perfection at its finest. Even at moments where I'd wish to strangle you and scream straight to your face for being oblivious. You are everything, you breathed me a new life; a life where the past stays where it is, getting more trivial as each day passes by. It makes me wish it was possible for me to not get affected or influenced by it, but it makes me who I am today and I'm sorry. But it doesn't matter to me anymore. You do. You're the only thing I've been having my heart, head and mind set on. You're my goal. To be with you and to always have you with me, to have you want me just as much, to make you just as happy and to keep you, this time.
No matter what I say, thought or how I took things wrongly at times, I never saw you as a phase. You've always been more than that. You've always been more than what people see you as to me. More than where you think you stand in my life. Who would've thought it could work out, I saw doubts in people's expression when I talked about it at the very beginning, I saw uncertainty, I heard disagreement. However afraid I was, I believed in you, I believed in us and I still do. I'm glad I did. I can never really imagine how different life would be if I hadn't. I want to still be able to go through another new year, knowing I'd be able to go through it all with you once again, for the rest of my life. I love you far, always. Always
-riri-
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