soul & heart.

I would write a thousand feelings and emotions at once that I feel for each time I see his face or think of him but everything goes by so fast I can't recall it all. Everything is so different now. I don't quite know where I am but god knows this is the best place I've been so far.

I can't put a finger on it, of when and how it got this hard to put it down on paper. It's when you're so excited of what to come but at the same moment grabbing and cherishing whatever there is now. Days pass, it comes, it goes, he's there, he's not, I'm here, I'm not. We're back here again with each other and each time feels like the first but better. When you get the hang of things, everything gets easier. He's everything to me and I know what it looks like or sounds like but this is the realest thing I've ever felt, went through and believed in. Though too real to be true, somehow so true it's unreal. That's when it starts to scare me, sending shivers to my spine thinking of it if one day just like everything else this too shall pass. We'd be gone. And he would no longer be there. He's the only thing I have left, the only one I dedicate almost all of my time to. He's that life I lost, that sparkle in my eyes. He is too much to say or describe, he isn't just everything I want. He's all that I need.

-riri-