not just a phrase.

I'm starting to hate hearing people telling me to take care instead of asking me to. As much as the amount of annoyance I have for each time I get a "have fun" from the people I wish to be with when I'm away. Maybe it's that every take care sounds like I'll leave you alone now, you're own your own kid. While have fun seems like another way to say I'm glad you'd be away for awhile at times. It's not always true how it means exactly how I would interpret it, to the person saying it. Although there are moments, where it seem as if it obviously is. Although it isn't. It's ironic to me how I could feel such a way about two words in a sentence put together, when I myself use it on people almost too frequently.

Maybe it's that, when I say it, it means almost most times, exactly how I would take it, from my perspective, that it gets me flustered. Sometimes I lie subconsciously for everyone else's own good, when deep inside I know it never make things any better. I'll never know why, or maybe I do, it just gets me a bit nervous and exposed to admit why. Maybe every lie is to see who would care enough to look through it. Although preposterous, yet somehow in a way logical. To me, the least.

For every of my "take care",

(I hope you do fine

please come back),

And for each of my "have fun",

(wish it'd be with me, 

I miss you so, I'll miss you more).

-riri-