your so-called phase, again.

Seems like everything is to you.
Even if to me, it is more than just so.

They ask, I answer, they ask, I answer, they ask, I answer, they ask with voices raised higher than the last time, I answer. They don't ask anymore, they don't bother. All over the answers that do not sound reasonable enough. My answers are made up to them. They are unable to comprehend my reason. I do not have a strong enough reason to support my answers. All because my answers, are mine. My answers are not theirs; they are not the answers they have subconsciously set for me to answer to them, in their minds.

If it's true, if this is just another phase than I know damn well which phase this is. It's that one I had at fifteen but much more feeling, a bit like when I was fourteen but much more aware. How could they tell me I know nothing of myself when I acknowledge exactly how I feel and what kind of feeling it is. Wonder how it got this way again, was it because I left my old habits for a so-called clean start and life or a certain kind of culture shock to my insides as I let in all the feelings back after living dead and often feeling less of the need for affection or/and attention. Down side is, you get teary when angry as easily as you block out your feelings. This time it's all at once. Mornings cold and teary like the beginning of the year, I let in hope and chances, put in a bit of faith but it all backfires on me. Funny.

Toughen up. Shake off the dirt, this thing's starting to look pretty shitty smelling like a dump looking like the image you see as you wake up from 11 hours of crying miraculously without bloodshot eyes.

-riri-