It all started when I was 10. He left me, my only motivation, the person I love the most, gone. Never to be seen again. I regretted what I didn't do,what he asked me to. I changed 360 degrees. no,not the good kind of change. No one could have understand how I was feeling, not my parents, not my bestfriend, not anyone. People said I was overacting, exaggerating, me being a drama queen and all, no one was surprised. I was on a journey to find the real me, the old me, the 'me' I lost on the day he left but I was alone, weak and so fragile. I couldn't go on by my own, I gave up. I have never been a good kid, always the ungrateful spoiled brat.
I was an idiot, I've been this way for way too long. If I could change, if I knew I would but, it's too late and here's the lesson I got. All I needed back then was a little attention. I was, might just have been, an attention seeker, I supposed. No one knows what I hid deep beneath my smile. It isn't pain, its more than that, this time it's different. This time it's indescribable. It's a secret I cannot tell anyone.
yours truly, riri.
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