The last time I cried my lungs out was on the 15th of November. I never knew I had so much tears waiting to fall on my oh so puffy-full-of-pimples cheeks. It was just so hard to stop that time. Now, I can't even shed a tear. I think I might just have dried them all out. They say sometimes crying makes you feel a lot better, one of the reasons would be because you let everything out. By everything I mean mostly the pain that you just can't stand no more. If I were able to cry for every shitty thing that have caused my oh-so-fragile-heart so much cracks since that day I last cried, I could make this country drown in tears but, what fun would that be eh? I've got reasons why I should smile still. Like to still be alive, for instance.
My life's great. I am problem-free. Except for the fact that I have this indescribable feeling in me that is slowly killing me inside. I am not as bubbly and hyper as I used to be. I am at times but, it's different now. I've pushed everybody away, I've hurt myself but at the same time likes that I am doing so. As days past by I find myself getting a little bit more insane. All I need now is guidance, support, I need someone who'll actually be there for me, who comes and stays not leaves me after I've got totally head over heels for them. I just want the things I've lost, the people that have promised to stay, the joy I no longer get, the glow I used to have in my face.
yours truly, riri.
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