a mess.

There are times when I feel like things will only get better when I am not in the picture.

At this point, I grew up becoming someone that no one but myself has expected to be. There are times when I look at myself and think; I've screwed up, no one will ever love someone like me. There are times when I'm like; hey I'm strong, I was born to be somebody, I can go on yes. I've gotten worst. I was raised to be better than this but now, I am the disappointment. Don't ever dare to blame my parents for all the wrong things I've become. Who would've thought right? I did, I saw it coming. A lazy-no-good-rebellious-anti-social-troublemaker. 

There's times when I get so freak out I start to hate everyone around me, even myself. There's times when I don't have enough of a backbone to care. I'm not alone I know, there are teenagers out there that go through the same things as I do, even worst even. It's just, you'd be lucky to find someone you can trust and share all these things to. It's just sad to feel so alone when you have friends. I would always be that girl yknow, that stubborn-never gets tired of getting scold even when she hates so, little brat. It's that one thing I need the most, that motivation that I lost. I find myself lost at times. People I love, they're turning their backs on me but, it's not their fault. Not entirely I mean. 

I've been walking for so long so tell me why is it that I'm still here and not home? The familiar faces I no longer see, the joy I cannot feel. Dear self, wake up before it's too late. This nightmare is eating you alive.

yours truly, riri.