we're left as shells.

You say this is for the best so tell me why does it hurt so bad?

I've lost the people I love, I've lost everything I thought I could hold on to.

the people who still stick with me has lost me, they don't know this person I am now, this person they used to know so well about.

Dear everyone, anyone at all, take this from me: never, ever, make someone your everything 'cause once they leave you you'd be left with nothing.

I hate how it's hard for me to trust someone but when I do, I trust them with my life and love them with all my heart. I cherish them, I make them my everything but in the end, it's the same thing, people change, people lie, people get betray by the ones who trust them the most at times. I once made someone my everything, that person came at the most unexpected time, the time I needed that person the most, which, was a good thing. Unfortunately, that person left the same way. Leaving me hanging with hopes that one day that person might come back. I felt lost, I felt cold, I felt like an idiot to be so devastated but this is life, my life. I get used to it. I complain but I don't actually care, I'm happy when I'm sad, I get sad when I'm happy. Who would've thought that just one person could change your whole perspective of how you see life as it is. Here I am to be blamed. I knew what I was getting into, I listened to my heart and this is what I get. Still, things happens for a reason. 

But this person, this person is the main reason why I'VE CHANGED.

I hate the person I have become but I do not have enough strength and willpower to change myself into who I was before. I don't know how to express my feelings, even worst, I don't know how to actually talk to people nowadays. I've been worst than worst. I've neglected and abandon those who loves and care about me the most but who is there to be blame? I don't know what have gotten into me. I no longer trust anyone, I have stop believing in everything I once used to believe in. Maybe I'm just waiting for someone to change everything, someone I used to have, someone that would prove me wrong. Yes, exactly.

yours truly, riri.