it's time.

Things are going okay. I'm quite hurt somehow. I don't know what's up with me but rara and si awesome makes it better so I'm thankful for that. I'm quite okay I guess but somehow I feel strange, it's like something bad is heading my way. And guess what? Something bad was heading my way. Yesterday I got a call from Reynah and she told me something that I swear I thought would be the last thing I would hear from anyone especially her. I can't believe what I heard but I guess I just gotta face the fact that what she said, it was real, it was real. I know Reynah and no, she would never lie to me. Even though what I heard was over what I'd expected to hear,I kinda could relate. I mean anything could happen right? the most hardest part is when I needed to decide. Either I leave or stay with this person that have the similarities to the last person who traumatised me.

So tonight will be the night that I'll be making my life miserable by making the biggest (maybe actually for my own good) decision. Is it yes or no, I'm still hesitating. Ya Allah, please give me a sign to show me what I should really decide on before it's too late. I know if I say yes, maybe this would be the end of everything I've ever wanted. As always, thing's happen for a reason. If it's gonna happen, then it will. I don't wanna be living in regret at the same time maybe regret is what I need. Answering YES would mean that I can't take this guy as he is and I'm not good enough for him. Why? have you ever heard of the phrase "if that person doesn't love you for who you are, that person isn't good enough for you"? that's why. I know people would think that I'm judgmental by now but they don't know the reason why and they don't know my story.

Dear Riri, once you make the decision just remember that there is no turning back. It's time it's really your turn to decide. Be ready to cry tonight.

yours truly, riri