I never wanted to push him away. I just wanted to make him understand. But I guess every time I try to, it only leads to both of us feeling guilty and worthless. From the dad to the boyfriend, I never get along with guys the way I should normally do as a girl. Sometimes I don't know what I am but pretty sure I'm neither a girl or a boy. I think that's my biggest talent of all, being what is needed but unwanted, the best at making people feel or acknowledged how useless they are to tell them later on of how they're not at all. I'm like reality shoving at your face whilst you were lullabied by this amazing yet preposterous idea of how things should really be.
I like talks, if it means what it used to. I just wanted us to talk and fix what we failed to once, so we could be a better us. I was just trying to be honest but honesty never did much for me in life anyway. I never asked for much but the littlest things cost so much it disheartens me to be taking so much from so little.
-riri-
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