It seems so simple doesn't it? but I know things are never as it seems. Which means I don't quite have the right to judge. I could be furious over it but what use is there to be over what was meant to happen. I could also choose to be angry, as mad as the next person who tells me how wrong this is, or how unfair it is for me but I'm not, I don't. I can never.
I go on with my days doing things contrary to whatever that might bring my mind back to dwell on him but this funny thing keeps happening, the part where things I come across or discover by random are those that can't help but to remind me of him, or at least the few details I know of him. It's pretty interesting to me, to be over it but not quite. Seems familiar what this is. I've been here before. Never knew I would again. I never prepared myself thinking it would last, even when I saw signs of it ending. I wonder why I went on with it anyway. Maybe to prove a point. But what point could be made to ever make sense now? For being an idiot, enough to have gone against your own beliefs, defying the truth of how reality works. I guess. That's the problem with believing. You gave out the last piece of you to someone you knew would give you reasons legit enough to have not to in the first place. As much as I'd like to say I told myself so I can't, half of me has always thought differently and who knows maybe deep down inside it still does. No regrets.
-riri-
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