5 o' clock in the morning.

5 in the morning with eyes wide open,
followed by a particular feeling churning in my gut,

as if someone had took my heart out to shove it back in,

but to only left it deep enough near my throat, way above my lungs
I've felt, I've been through this before, I know,
Suddenly it hit me, might have I mistaken the fear,

of him dying, with the terror of the most dreadful,

the thought of the end, to have done it again,

to have killed myself instead.

And I had.
And I did.

-riri-