I know, I've been ignoring the people who actually cares about me, who actually wants to be there for me. Ignoring? No it's not like that at all. It's just, I don't trust people. I can't. Not even my so-called bestfriends. Nobody gets it. No one understands. They see it as if I'm doing it on purpose. The thing is, it's inexplicable. I just get too complicated at times. Some people find it uneasy for them, some just can't stand it. Well you know what, I'm bailing out.
They say I don't know how to appreciate people. They say I'm ungrateful. They say I'm just craving for the attention of my loved ones that I'm not getting. They say I don't understand what I think I do. Well screw them. Strangers, thinking they know me well enough to think so. I know me better than anyone else does. You can't read me like a book. You can't predict what I'll do or how I might feel.
That's human for you, imperfect human beings. No I'm not claiming to be perfect but I am telling you I'm perfect at being me. This is what makes me stop talking to people. They think they know everything. they think it's that easy to get to know me. I wish my holidays won't end, I need more time by myself. I need to get away from school, away from those annoying teachers and stupid homework, I wanna be invisible to the students there. I wanna bail out. I wanna skip everything and run to another world where nothing could ever stress me out. I wanna go to a place where people don't mind how complicated I am, where people don't get tired of me.
I know, this is too much to ask for. I just wanna trust again. I can't, I wish I could but I can't. How do you put it in words? How can you explain that feeling when you just can't change and you can't trust that the only time you trust someone is when you feel like it, you can't control it, you get me here? Maybe I'm not fit to be friends with anyone. Maybe I should just stick to talking to myself and starring at the wall, hanging and locking myself in my room.
yours truly, riri.
They say I don't know how to appreciate people. They say I'm ungrateful. They say I'm just craving for the attention of my loved ones that I'm not getting. They say I don't understand what I think I do. Well screw them. Strangers, thinking they know me well enough to think so. I know me better than anyone else does. You can't read me like a book. You can't predict what I'll do or how I might feel.
That's human for you, imperfect human beings. No I'm not claiming to be perfect but I am telling you I'm perfect at being me. This is what makes me stop talking to people. They think they know everything. they think it's that easy to get to know me. I wish my holidays won't end, I need more time by myself. I need to get away from school, away from those annoying teachers and stupid homework, I wanna be invisible to the students there. I wanna bail out. I wanna skip everything and run to another world where nothing could ever stress me out. I wanna go to a place where people don't mind how complicated I am, where people don't get tired of me.
I know, this is too much to ask for. I just wanna trust again. I can't, I wish I could but I can't. How do you put it in words? How can you explain that feeling when you just can't change and you can't trust that the only time you trust someone is when you feel like it, you can't control it, you get me here? Maybe I'm not fit to be friends with anyone. Maybe I should just stick to talking to myself and starring at the wall, hanging and locking myself in my room.
yours truly, riri.
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