look at me now.

Friday 1 June 2012

how can you not admit?

How can you admit what you can't admit?

It'd be a lie to say no one cares. It'd be a lie to say that no one loves her. It'd be a lie to say that she's hurt. It'll be a lie to say no one wants her. It's a lie to say she got no friends. It's a lie to say she's got a huge problem.

BUT STILL,

she feels like no one actl cares to care a bit more. To care enough to ask her what her problem is until she express it all out or to make her feel comfortable enough to actually spill it all out. It's just she doesn't know how to put the things that messes up her mind into words/a proper sentence. She knows that there's people out there who loves her but you know there's times in life when you feel like killing yourself just to see who'd cry over your death, to see who really loves you and at times she knows some people love her but all she wants is for the person she loves to loves her the way she loves that person. She's not hurt physically, mentally or even emotionally just, she's tired, of everything. To say that no one wants her would obviously be a lie but she feels unwanted. She sees people becoming friends and staying as friends, as a group, as a gang, happy knowing that none of them wanna lose each other while here she is feeling as if she's and outsider, the third person, just barging in on other people's friendship searching for the friends of her life. To say that she has no friends or bestfriends would be the most unsuitable choices of words. She has them just, it's more to an acquaintance than friends. Not knowing who her bestfriend is anymore or if anyone thinks her of a bestfriend, confuse and scared to admit that she feels so alone even when she's surrounded by so-called bestfriends. She doesn't have a huge problem just, she's her own mess. Screwing herself up and making things more complicated for herself.

 Now who will save her, she keeps asking herself.

yours truly, riri.

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