look at me now.

Thursday 12 January 2012

as if i don't deserve it.


It's when I see you and wonder what is it that you see in me. It's when I see all the pretty girls and wonder why'd you pick me. It's when I see these bunch of friendlier girls and wonder why was it me that you fell for. It's when I get another text from you when I don't reply the first one and wonder wouldn't it be inconvenient to send me many text knowing that I won't reply. It's when you call me using your parents phone that makes me wonder how did I end up meaning that much to you. It's when I look at you and see how awesome and cool you are and wonder why'd you chose to get stuck with a loser like me. It's when you sing to me when we're on the phone that makes me wonder have you done this to anyone else before. It's when I started to stop believing in promises, that you came and changed it all. I'm not sure about forever, that I'll say inshaa Allah to, because most of my previous boyfriends who promised me "forever" end up either dumping me or got caught cheating. So yeah, that one you'll have to gain my trust.

At times I feel so small, I feel so so out of your league. Can't you see the difference between you and me? You're like way too awesome for me. It seems like you could leave me anytime and I'll end up being broken and what ever not but you won't leave me right? I won't break if you do though. Being broken is unacceptable.

I'm just scared that one day you would regret being with me. I don't know why but somehow, no matter how much I try to be the best, I end up being the worst. A couple of relationships where I thought that was gonna last but it didn't. It's weird because things seem like it was falling into place, guess I spoke too soon. To be honest, I'm not good with this relationship stuff.

 yours truly, riri.

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