celebrating lives.

A year ago I'd say this is my queue to sing,

Boys Like Girls's She's Got A Boyfriend Now

17 and invincible they sang. Not anymore though.

I'm not seventeen. I'm 25. At times 4. 13 barely. But somehow still 15.

I'm not as exuberant, knowing I don't deserve to be at the moment.

I'm glad, not as crestfallen really. Knowing I'm not that important anymore to so many.

Yet contented with the way things are or the people I've been spending my life with.

I don't expect for anything, it's just a shame to know the people I invested most of my time with, seems just as uninterested. I'm not keen or concern about anybody else's being. I could care less. It's just disheartening when it comes to the ones that matters most to me.

It's really not a day just for me. Which is why I've talked about it's little value previously. Not to be a dampener to other's foreseen joy. It's only because we're missing the real hero, the bigger picture in the background that's so vital, without it there wouldn't even be a me here right now. I have my mum to thank for. This isn't just a date, not another birthday, it's a celebration for the life of a woman who could've been taken away just for the sake to breath in a new life to this world. I'm not at all the only star for today. More than anything I hope in all my mum's excitement and plans for today, although certain things without my endorsement (knowing I'd like to be as little hassle as possible), remembers that it's really her day as well. It never crossed my mind before- when I was younger or a few years back. I'm left a bit penitent for such ignorance to be honest. How could something so significant be taken so lightly. This is our day. I hope things get better, for her sake.

-riri-