2k15's birthday perception.

I wish I forgot mine as to how I almost did for last year's.

I come across people saying this a lot:-

"As you grow older birthday's are just another day. 

There's nothing to it. You don't like it as much, it isn't as special."

I've been thinking about it, it's been awhile but I've never really had the time to put all my thoughts about it together. Unfortunately when I do, it leaves me so agitated for some reason. I get furious over this kind of ungratefulness. It doesn't apply to everyone, of course. This isn't about anyone either. It's just me. I'd ask why but why wonder at the obvious reasons certain people live to start taking birthdays as something rather fiddling although at the same time might just feel down about it on the very day, some things contradictory but isn't as complicated really.

1) you don't like the fact that you're getting older

2) responsibilities, decisions, your future

3) people don't give you gifts the way they used to or celebrate it with you

4) it reminds you of something you don't wish to remember

5) you've never celebrated it

6) people always forget

7) you wish to feel special especially on that very day but you never do

At this point, it isn't at all any of the above. It barely ever was the case to me but to most people I know, it is. I'm just glad to get another day or year to live, a chance to fix what I've been breaking ever since. Learned the lessons I've thought I never would need to bother about. To me, there's nothing special about birthdays anymore true. I know what you're thinking, and honestly it isn't it. I'm talking about how it's just another day but not in a bad way. A date where you get to realise how much you've grown or haven't and look back at how far you've come and what you've done. It's not about gifts or surprises. It's just really, a day to be grateful for no matter how hard it is. Isn't it how it should be when we're all born for a reason whether or not it's clear to us now. My presence isn't anymore remarkable than the next guy, but just as special. In my own way. No self pity, or grief, or complaints.

It's just another day. It is but a day where people treat you a bit more special than they usually do. That's what now leaves me a bit exasperated, none of abhorrence but still I refuse to accept the fact that only on birthdays is it ever a must for certain people to treat someone else in an exceptional manner. The way I execrate how mother's day becomes such a fuss for everyone to treat their mother's like queens. Shouldn't every day be the same? If somebody means enough to you and that you love them endlessly, why wait for a certain date or day to make something happen. Doing so on that specific day isn't wrong at all instead it's quite thoughtful but so many take the days before and after that date for granted. People aren't always going to be there, we won't live forever, why not take every chance we can to make it worth every breath we take.

As I was talking, I received a few words of a loved one:

"You're special who says you aren't important" the same person that at one point asks me questions like "Do you think you're special? any important than anybody else?" in annoyance. I don't take it to heart, but what am I to expect after being told so. There's nothing wrong with birthdays, they're wonderful, another day and chance of getting to see and be with your loved ones, another year of new beginnings and start of endings.

-riri-