she said followed by a crooked painful smile.
I have always been amazed by how my late grandfather treated my grandma.
Bagai menatang minyak yang penuh as we malays would say it. Married at the age of 18 with a man about 11 years older. Who needs to be a princess when you're already one to a man who would do anything for you. My grandfather was an incredible man. From a poor family he came, worked hard to be good enough with a stable job and enough salary to build up a family, when finally he found the one. She was the one and only daughter of Pahang's seventh chief minister.
It started of with the view of her leg to be honest. Funny I know but then the minute he saw her (not her leg), he just knew. He fell in love at first sight. Guess my grandma's father knew what he was doing when he let go of his daughter to this man. He does everything for her. She didn't even need to lay a finger on things. Loved her and adored her all his life. Being romantic and caring and responsible toward her the way no one else could ever be. Though she seem feelingless towards most things, she knows that deep inside she has what every woman on this planet would want and she was lucky. She just didn't quite show it. I understood how she felt back then, I completely understand.
Years went by, anniversaries after anniversaries, surprises after vacation trips, gifts after flowers and letters, and above all, unconditional love and undivided attention given. No matter where he was, who he was with, nothing could be compared to going home to see her and his kids. They moved away in 2005; she didn't want to leave that house but she never said. Homesick and mad all inside, she did nothing to help. Guess he knew so he did all by himself but still, she was his to be treated like a princess and so that's what he did. Sometimes when you love someone so much, you don't care anymore, what matters is them being there with you even if they barely are. I could say his love for her was bulletproof. 40 years (and more to go at that time) of being with someone who seem so complicated to others yet he was the only one who knew all she wanted was to be cared for even if it seemed too late to change her. She had gotten to the point where she got stuck to be the way she was.
One day, who would ever knew, he was the first to go.
We were all surprised, he was badly missed. Still missed.
Now she tells me stories of him. She tells me what he always does or the way he would treat her once. I knew, I knew he was the best and I knew that she knew. She just never talked about it. Now when she does, I see the hurt in her eyes and how much she wishes to have him back or maybe for one last time, make things right. To have one more day, to tell him all the things she could never said, one more sight of his smile and sound of his laughter and all the stories he once told that she sometimes, did not take note of.
I know, even if she doesn't say.
Because that's exactly how I would want it.
I could say he loved her till the end of days, till the last breathe of his life.
-riri-
No comments:
Post a Comment