me and school.

thought of 2:54 a.m :

I don't think people get how much hatred I have for school. I mean not the building, the thought of it and how it triggers my depression. The anxiety I get of being around so many people and being asked questions I can't or don't even want to answer. Having to believe things I refuse to. I don't think anyone gets how much it disturbs me both mentally and emotionally. I don't think anyone would even take me seriously on this matter when I tell them. They keep asking why and why and why, some things I just don't know how to answer. I just wish they'd understand that. I just wish they wouldn't push me so hard in doing what I really can't or don't want to. I didn't choose to be this way. It just happens to be that all I went through made me and turned me into this and I can't deny that I let it. But how am I supposed to even go back to who I was before? Exactly, I can't. Even if I could it'd be hard.

-riri-