shame behind it all.

And I sat there showing her pictures of people doing things I know I do too while she talks about how preposterously insane it is for them to do so. Her thoughts loud and clear drilling into my mind from the ears to my heart as I kept quiet.

I wonder if she knows
I wonder if anyone has noticed
If they even care although I don't even put the slightest hope on so

It's scary to even be thought about

but it's always there crashing and running into my head

I never wanted for it to start

but the pain is beyond my control

Today once again I've lost a battle

A battle I fought on my own.

yours truly, riri.