leaving?

So a few days ago, my mum told me that maybe we're not gonna stay here for long.
Just until the end of the year and then we'll move away, maybe.
I don't know where we're gonna go to but I get the feeling its far away than where we are staying now.

The second intake for SBP is over and my dream to go to SSP had been shattered.
So I guess I won't be going anywhere for now.
I'm quite disappointed but I'm used to it so I'm fine I guess.

That was what I thought at first but after a few months schooling here, I feel quite okay but I still don't like it here that is until the news that my mum told me just now of course, everything changed at that very second.
She said that my uncle had away to get me in, I figured that he would pull some strings to do that for sure.
My mum asked whether I really wanted to go to SSP or not and I . . . .

I don't even know anymore.
I would love to but at the same time I feel like I don't want to.
Knowing that I'm gonna have to start late and back to the start, can I handle that?

Could I? Should I?
I want to but . . .
If I do, guess there's no more si awesome for me eh?

yours truly,
riri