too little too much.

Sometimes I find it better when I was at that phase where I couldn't connect with my feelings or act to my emotions. It wasn't my favourite but at least I didn't hurt, neither did I afflicted anyone with pain caused by the feelings I naturally would have or reacted the way I once did over it. People could do whatever they pleased, as long as I didn't respond to them the way they resented, as long as I was able to leave them to themselves without another word out of my mouth, no one got hurt. Even if they did by it. I'd be fine. Because nothing I ever said to my advantages, has ever made things any better for me as many times as it has hurt anyone I've talked to.

I swallow my words down and forget about it. You shake it off, walk away. Because that's how everyone likes it. If the truth isn't pretty, no one's interested into hearing it. However, I am my words and my words are me. I wouldn't be going in too deep with anyone that can't go along with that fact. Hence explain, why I am, most times, alone or would rather be.

Everything about me comes off as too strong or not at all, there's no in between. That's the problem. You're either too weak or devotedly committed, when I'm often too little or too much depending on how long or how much I let you know, and how you decide to treat me. I am never yet to be the enough amount, or ever "just right".

-riri-