dwell or speak.

There's a lot I think about
And much that crosses my mind
Some I never mentioned or got the chance to say
And so much more that never came out.

Like how I feel about him and the things I think of us, how I make sense of it all and create my own storyline or what I have in mind of what would come. And it doesn't make much sense if you hear it from me but I know nothing ever does which makes it just as real. And if I could I'd tell you it all, for every second or minute or day it crosses my mind I would tell you straight away if I could but things are no longer the same, it never would remain I thought. Life keeps going and the constant changes causing everyone else to follow the flow and decide on things without having another thought just because you're living life, doesn't exactly make it all good and I know it shouldn't be but for certain things, I thought maybe there was a limit. You don't just dive in, you test the waters. All these disjoined thoughts leaving in nothing but a blur image for me, confuse or rather disenchanted to hopelessly afloat. I despise knowing how I had so much to say and still have more on going, but I never once had the chance to say it all due to the fear of needing the perfect timing or right situation because it doesn't exist and now,

you can't take back the words you never said.

-riri-