all for the nothing that's left.

I'm not quite sure of what I'm doing or why I am moving at this pace or on this path. Can't quite put my finger on what is right or if I even find it wrong. Everything's so grey, no longer black and white, or ever could it be as straightforward as I would usually put it. Similar yet so unusual. If I could put it into words, I would but I can't. I cringed at the thought of how clueless I've become because I can't tell, I can't say what I'm in or what this is.

But I've never been so desperate. I've never cared so much. I've never bothered to put myself so low in anything before, never have I tried so hard on what seems so insignificant to people around me. If I could change how things are I would although I know better than to do so. Barriers after barriers ahead of me yet one is completely burnt down for the same person, that only person and I can't find my way out of my self-create maze. No reasons legit enough found, but promises I would have never put so much thought in if it were to be made years before. So what changed? Was is the circumstance, the distance, the fears, or was it just

me?

-riri-