Clear It All Up.

My time is up. Shows over. Make-up removed. Smile, because I can.

Can you see the picture? Clearer with your glasses on.

Your hair is all messed up, so is your mind.
Have you prayed enough? Have you tried hard enough?
Now look at yourself and how heartless and more monotonous you have become.

What do you want actually? What do you expect from people?
For things to be the way they used to?

No. I was living in a protected world where shit happens but ends with a happily ever after but not anymore. Even if I had the choice to go back, I've thought about it, I don't want to. Maybe a little but not for long. They lied to protect me from the hardcore truth of life, from the cold people living in this beautiful world. Where family cared and love you for who you are, where everyone were your friends. Let me stay in my cruel state of mind, where it's a parallel world.

Family, friends, enemies- they all seem to become one.

Trust, hard to be given, easy to be broken.

Eyes open. I could see it now. They say family would always be there, well they are but not where they need to be. Friends might end up backstabbing you, they might secretly hate you. Am I paranoid? I lost that genuine smile I once had. I lost that glow in my face. My spirit, I've lost.

I'd rather live this way for now. Let the truth hit me. Try their best to break me, pull me down. I'll get back up again till it's over. There is no need to rush now, I understand that. Everyone's chasing something but what? I'll find what I need to and when I get there, that is when it's enough for me. That is when I'll finally leave.

yours truly, riri.