Tormented. Sick and depress. They tell you they care. They tell you your happiness is their happiness but it's them who crushes you. The things they say and do. Worst of all, you can't do anything about it. Powerless. It's sick. It's shit. But it's true.
Stuck and controlled. Home is the only place you can be at. While people go out with friends or walk around a nearby park or so to calm their messed up mind, the only place far enough you could go to is your house's compound. The anger hurts your ears but you can't stop nor fight it back. Respect them, they've done a lot for you but you're in rage. You can't talk to anyone, walls have ears. You can't shout nor can you hit things, everything is in someone else's control. Crying is unacceptable. The pain becomes inevitable and that's when you get these massive headaches.
Your head starts spinning, it gets harder to breath, suffocating in despair, nothing's ever enough and it kills how you have to keep it all in and you get so angry at yourself you start thinking of ways to make things better, ways you should never follow. It's like a sick joke people never get tired of telling that you get tired of listening. You calm yourself down, it hurts too much to even cry and something caught your eye, you took it, slowly placing it on your arms and you start slashing.
You promise never to do it again but things get all inexplicable and you keep on doing it till it no longer hurts you. It's either you've got immune to it, you're getting even more numb by the day or maybe the pain you're feeling hurts more than the one you're causing. Know what's funny? No one actl cares. They'd never ask. You're never gonna tell anyway. It's like celebrities with drugs, people know and they just let it be.
yours truly, riri.
Your head starts spinning, it gets harder to breath, suffocating in despair, nothing's ever enough and it kills how you have to keep it all in and you get so angry at yourself you start thinking of ways to make things better, ways you should never follow. It's like a sick joke people never get tired of telling that you get tired of listening. You calm yourself down, it hurts too much to even cry and something caught your eye, you took it, slowly placing it on your arms and you start slashing.
You promise never to do it again but things get all inexplicable and you keep on doing it till it no longer hurts you. It's either you've got immune to it, you're getting even more numb by the day or maybe the pain you're feeling hurts more than the one you're causing. Know what's funny? No one actl cares. They'd never ask. You're never gonna tell anyway. It's like celebrities with drugs, people know and they just let it be.
yours truly, riri.
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