These instincts are a curse. A blessing and a curse. I can't seem to comprehend it's point or who it's really latching on. I used to believe it was nothing but a way for me to foresee events, a heads up like when the traffic light turns red for the pedestrians right before it goes green for the cars, they had their warning and you'd be dumb to walk before it changes. It's bullocks that there is such a thing as hyper empathy, god who would've thought.
Some things you just can't tell anyone. I've gotten over all the rainbows, the light, the what ifs. What I had was different but it couldn't have possibly built a bond quite this strong. Even if it did, I wouldn't allow myself to sink in to that thought at this point. This time it's just me. It's a bit frightening really, to come to the conclusion or reach to a state where it isn't about anyone else but you. Sometimes I feel like there's two. Why do I have to be the one to feel the presence of those no longer there despite my effort to cut it all off. This leaves me at a dead end. I don't want to pretend or make believe that there is a reason behind this. Some things I no longer want anything to do with. But god, it's so hard to be the one to feel everything.
Guess my bedtime's over.
Talk about getting some rest.
-riri-
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